I forget

I have a constant problem with forgetfulness. It seems that I forget important things ALL the time. Some examples: I once lost my wallet, when I was a kid, up at my great-grandma's cabin and one year later when we returned I found it in the couch cushions. Everytime I go on a trip I will forget at least one item I wanted/needed to bring (and I do mean EVERY time). I once forgot my class ring at a burger place near the University of Idaho and fortunately it was found by a kind college student who worked at the burger place and gave it to a friend of mine at U of I to give to me later. In elementary school I lost my soccer ball and several coats because I forgot them on the playground. The summer after my eighth grade year my class took a trip to Washington, D.C. where I bought this cool coin separater, as a souvenier, that looked like the picture of George Washington off the dollar bill. I lost it the first day I had it when we took a ferry across a river and I left it on there. I forgot one of my suit jackets at a friend's house after a night of salsa dancing and still have not gone to get it yet. All this to say that I am very prone to forget.

Sometimes I think that I forget about things around me because I am extremely apt at remembering information (such as for tests or hard factual data) and thus I have less room to fit the memories of things happening in everyday life. This might have a ring of validity to it, but we'll just go ahead and say that I'm a very forgetful young man and leave it at that.

This forgetfulness impacts my life much more than in things like forgetting my phone somewhere; it has deep roots in the emotional, spiritual, and social aspects of my life. I find it difficult to remember the emotions that I have experienced; whether they be such as grief, helplessness, joy, happiness, awe, love, or numerous others. While the feeling of certain emotions in a situation should not be given too high a status in the understanding of one's circumstances, this does not necessarily mean that they serve no purpose at all. For God has indeed made us emotional beings who have feelings that can be very strong at times. If we were perfect and the whole world was without sin, we would be able to completely trust our feelings. However, since we and this world are corrupted with sin, our feelings are also corrupted and we are not able to determine rightly in regard to our feelings and emotions. Though we may not be able to put complete trust in our emotions, it is good to remember the emotions we experience at times in our life. If it be sorrow, let us remember our grief and look to the one who bore all of our sorrows. If it be joy, let us remember that true happiness is found in giving God the glory He deserves. If it be a broken heart, let us remember God's broken heart for His creation that have rejected Him though he would love them wholeheartedly. If it be love, let us remember the ultimate example of love - that of Jesus, the Son of God, dying on the cross for our sins so that we will not have to suffer the penalty for our sins which is eternal separation from God. If only I could better remember my emotions so that I could be a more faithful servant of my King.

There have been times in my life of great and impacting spiritual growth or decline that I find difficult to remember on a daily basis. I must remember those times in my life when I was close to God and also when I lived out of fellowship with Him; the remembrance of both of those parts of my life will help me to better live for God today. Remembering the times where I walked out of fellowship with God is important because if I do not remember how easy it is to fall away from Him, how dirty my sin makes me, and how sin only brought temporary pleasure but left me in guilt and shame, then I will once again fall back into the depths of my sinful desires. Though dwelling on my sin is not healthy, it is good to recognize my sin, it's effects, and how to better avoid it in the future. I can only do this by remembering my past failures and then reading God's Word which will guide me in glorifying God. I have repeatedly forgotten the grossness of sin in my own life and have chased after it time and time again. It seems to be so easy to forget the total wrongness of my sin and focus on that brief satisfaction it provides. It is vital to remember that sin only offers lies and that true satisfaction comes solely from God. Some of the most important things that I forget are the times when I am close to God and the things that God has taught me through prayer and His Word. Sometimes I wonder how I could forget something that God has shown me as quickly as the next day. For I know that God loves me yet I have felt unloved. I know that God is always with me watching over everything I do yet I have thought that He was far away from me. I know that I am no longer a slave to sin yet I have felt in bondage to sin. I know that I am set apart for holiness unto God yet I have not sought purification in Him. I know that my destination is Heaven yet I have focused my efforts on the things of this world rather than on the Heavenly Kingdom. Oh that I may constantly realize the depravity that sin leads to and the complete joy of walking with God.

Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.
-Philippians 4:8 (NASB)

My prayer is that I will be in constant remembrance of God's work in my life. He knows the big picture and my view is so small. I am but a small child who one moment rests safely in his father's arms and the next is in tears because he thinks his father has left him. May I comprehend the deepest depths of His love in order to worship Him as He is meant to be worshiped. The mind of man is swift to forget, but the God Almighty over the whole universe is faithful to remember His promises for He is good.