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Leaders and Letdowns

"Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God." - Romans 13.1 (ESV)

This may be one of the most purposely overlooked verses in the whole Bible. There is just something about being in submission to authority that grates against us. Perhaps this is due to the American spirit of independence; for was not our country founded upon the rebellion of our forefathers? Is it not taught that we boldly stand up for our rights? We value our rights and the freedoms that we have as citizens of this country but at what cost?

It is said that we should consider the past in order that we might not fall into the same mistakes that were made by those who came before us. In light of this, let us consider the day and age when Christianity was just in the beginning of its development. This was the time of the apostles and the prophets. Men like Paul and Peter were at the forefront of this movement that was even said to "have turned the world upside down" (Acts 17.6). What was Paul's advice when it came to how the believer in Christ was to relate to the governmental authorities? Submission!

Now before we speak of how this teaching might affect our own attitude or treatment of authority, we must consider the situation in which these early Christians found themselves. They were labeled a sect by most of their contemporaries and mistrusted because of Christianity's close ties to Judaism (the Jews were known in the Roman world as troublemakers and rebels). Not only this but along with the preaching of the gospel (and the subsequent conversion of many) came fierce opposition from many in the Jewish community which resulted in civil unrest most every place the gospel was taken. This association with all the civil unrest did not put Christians into a favorable place among the people of the Roman Empire. In fact, for over a hundred years following the time of the apostles Christianity was consistently persecuted by the majority of the populace and oppressed by those in authority. Yet Paul has the audacity to tell his readers to be known as model citizens? This is due to how God views authority and the way in which He expects man to respond to it.

Let us travel further back in time to the most loved king of Israel's past: King David. We have record of two separate occasions when David had the opportunity to kill Saul but refused to do so (see I Sam 24 & 26). God had already told Saul that he had forfeited his right to be king because of his disobedience and had Samuel the prophet anoint David to be king in Saul's place. However, Saul continued to act as king for some time with David mostly on the run from Saul's attempts to kill him! David recognized that God was the one who had anointed Saul as king and that it was His prerogative to remove him when He saw fit.

However, we must not dismiss the importance of authority and leadership as it relates to our daily interactions with those around us. Whether at work, in school, on the road or at home, all of us deal with those in authority over us and must exercise responsibly the authority that we have been given. It should also be noted that there are some key differences between authority and leadership. Authority is the right and responsibility to lead, while leadership is the ability to lead. One might say that the authorities are in charge while leaders tend to take charge. It goes without saying that not all those in authority are good leaders. Moreover, those who lead well do not necessarily occupy positions of authority. Problems tend to arise either within our own hearts or in open conflict when both the ability and right to lead are not adequately joined together.

In regards to how we deal with authority, we must keep in mind that our responsibility is to respect and submit to the authorities over us and even to encourage others to do likewise. When we find ourselves in a position of authority we should constantly seek to better ourselves in our ability to lead those who are under us, for such is the duty that comes with authority. Furthermore, if we discover that we are more aptly suited to influence the lives of those around us than even the one in authority, we should to do so faithfully while continuing to respect the one in authority.

All in all we submit to the ultimate authority - God Almighty Himself. Jesus was the perfect leader and it is He who said: "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age." -Matt 28.18-20

Professional Daydreamers

Confession time: I like playing video games. And watching tv. AND reading sci-fi/fantasy books....

In the past I have attempted to appease my conscience by telling myself that there is nothing intrinsically wrong with these things. After all, what 20-year old guy doesn't like to play some video games at least every once in a while? What's so wrong with watching tv? It's relaxing my mind and is just a nice form of entertainment. I'm not even watching any of those inappropriate shows! And what could be bad about reading some books? Isn't reading supposed to be a good exercise for your brain? A thousand and one other excuses always seemed available to counter any doubts about these activities or any other ones like them. Then I read this verse: "Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise, but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil" (Eph 5.15-16). Or how about this one: "Walk in wisdom toward outsiders, making the best use of the time" (Col 4.5)? Wow. Talk about a wake up call.

In light of these words a decision must be made. What life will we choose? Is it to be fantasy or reality? We in America have become all too accustomed to a life of persistent delusions. We are professional daydreamers. We consistently prefer to accept lies over and above the truth. If you have any doubt about it, then simply walk down the aisles of any supermarket, or turn on the tv, or take a drive in your car. Images confront us everywhere we go to purchase the latest and greatest - to enjoy maximum comfort brought by our technological advancements.

I must say that I don't believe it is necessarily wrong to enjoy some form of entertainment or relaxation. What I am saying is that I believe we (myself included) tend to preoccupy ourselves with entertainment and relaxation rather than God and His Word. This is nothing new, for it is the nature of the flesh to focus on self rather than others. Though this indeed tends to be the call to Christians: get outside yourself, know God, and reach out to others. However, a dilemma occurs when we attempt to straddle the fence between Christ and the world.

We relish the fictional because it helps to distract us from reality. Truth: most of the world lives below the poverty level. Truth: human slavery still persists today in the form of sex-slaves. Truth: clean water and adequate nutrition are unavailable to most people throughout the world. As if these were not enough, we, as Christians, understand that these problems are "the tip of the iceberg" so to speak. Truth: over a third of the world's population have never even heard the name of Jesus. Truth: if nobody goes, there is no preaching; if nobody preaches, there is no hearing; if nobody hears, there is no believing; if nobody believes, there is no hope. Truth: God's desire is for ALL mankind to be saved - coming to the knowledge of the truth!

We must cling to the truth! Jesus said that the truth will set us free. His Word is truth - we must immerse ourselves in its cleansing waters of life. Christianity is not about Bible bookstores, or going to church, or feeling good about yourself. Christianity is about the truth!

Talking to Christians, Paul said: "for at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light" (Eph 5.8). None of us would argue the complete difference between darkness and light. By definition they are totally contradictory to one another. God has made us into NEW creations, yet we tend to cling so much to the old. The exhortation is clear: Behave as those who have been enlightened to the truth! However, the implication is also clear: we may choose to live as if we had never known the truth in the first place! And is this not the supreme struggle that every Christian faces, though they may not even admit to it? Philippians 4.8 says this: "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things."

Know it. Live it.

Moi Testamonies

Everyone's Doing It

This is a poem that I wrote a while back during a time when I was realizing the utter bankruptcy of myself. By this I mean that I found nothing good in me like the apostle Paul when he said: "For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out" (Rom 7.18).

Everyone's doing it so why shouldn't I?

Why shouldn't I try it just this one time?

Maybe one time becomes maybe some more

Until all of these maybes are who I am at my core

In the depths of my heart, in the depths of my soul

Nothing good do I find, as far as I go.

I try to do good and I try to do well

But inside of this man is nothing but hell.

The only thing in this life I've found to be worth anything

Is the cross of the Christ to which desperately I cling.

It is only a few verses later that Paul is able to say this: "There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death" (Rom 8.1-2).

Thank you Jesus!

Another One Bites the Dust

"then the Lord God formed the man of dust from the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living creature." -Genesis 2.7

The Great and Mighty God who has just formed the universe by the power of His words is now breathing life into a pile of dirt. This contrast between divinity and humanity is strikingly manifest in these moments of man's formation. Our emergence into this world is modest indeed.

"By the sweat of your face you shall eat bread, till you return to the ground, for out of it you were taken; for you are dust, and to dust you shall return." -Genesis 3.19

The fragile nature of man has been made apparent ever since the immediate aftermath of his Fall. Every man and woman who has preceded us has experienced the stark reality of his or her own finiteness. We cannot escape the fact that we will all die. And so we distract ourselves with the pleasures of the moment hoping to forget our mortality. Fools that we are! It is time to come to grips with reality. The truth is that we are not invincible no matter how strong we may believe ourselves to be. The fantastic discoveries that we have made in our scientific studies pale in comparison to our utter lack of understanding of these very things. As our knowledge grows, so too does our awareness of that which we do not comprehend.

As Christians we delude ourselves in regards to our own strength and ability. We tend to make it our goal to 'be better' but this only reveals our lack of understanding. Do not the Scriptures declare that we are "new creations"? What could we possibly do to make ourselves 'better'? We fail to realize that God cares more about who we are than about what we do. He does not command the sinner to do good works and live righteously in order to earn salvation. Scriptures reveal that man has nothing, in and of himself, that deserves or obligates God to do anything good for him. It is on this foundational truth that we understand the grace of God - the provision of His Son as a payment for the debt which we owed. If we did not deserve this yet were given it, how can we seek to earn God's acceptance as His child when He has already given us the greatest gift of all?

We make vows and commitments to live godly but are misguided in our motive. The truth is all that will protect us from sinful desire. We must first know the truth if we are to believe it. It is to be noted that these are NOT one and the same. We may know the truth, yet fail, or even refuse, to believe it (see Rom 1.19-20). The nature of faith is confidence, reliance, and trust. It is not conjecture, speculation, or presumption. Attempting to keep the rules never worked for the Israelites; let us learn from their example! God has not declared us morally obligated but perfectly justified. We have already been accepted by Him as His children so let us not spurn His acceptance by seeking to earn it.

A great truth that I have been thinking much about is that God understands us and our weaknesses. In fact, He desires those weaknesses to be used as manifestations of His power (see 2 Cor 12.9). He does not demand instantaneous change nor does He expect perfection. However, He does require us to be faithful with what He has given us to the extent to which we are able. Any normal parent does not expect their 3 month old son to take the garbage out. They understand that the capacity for responsibility grows with maturity. God deals with us in the same manner. Be faithful with what you have been give and rest in the fact that God is continuously at work within you.

"As a father shows compassion to his children,

so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him.

For he knows our frame;

he remembers that we are dust."

-Psalm 103.13-14

Savior

"She will bear a Son; and you shall call His name Jesus, for He will save His people from their sins."

- Matthew 1.21

Whether we are 'saving big' at some store, saving a file on our computer, or even saving some ice cream in the freezer for later, we tend to use this word 'save' numerous times throughout our everyday lives. This word can be used in a variety of ways, but what in the world does it mean when we see it in our Bible? The root of this word as used in the Bible has to do with rescue or deliverance. The single most important aspect to consider when we see this word is to figure out from what is one being saved. By this I mean that if I were to say: "I was saved", then the proper question in response would be to ask: "What/who were you saved from?" To be saved implies something from which one has been saved.

The very name of Jesus was to emphasize the purpose of His coming: to save! Yet this was not necessarily the kind of saving that most of the Jews were expecting for He came to save them from their SINS. He did not come to build orphanages, provide clean drinking water and food, or conduct other 'humanitarian' efforts. Indeed He did heal the sick and spent much of His time with the lower classes and outcasts of society. However, His purpose on earth was much greater than that, for He understood the need of man. For man may need food and water, but Christ Himself said that He was the Bread of Life and Living Water. He identified two of the two most basic needs of men, women, and children and then applied that same label to Himself. HE is our greatest need. What does it matter if man is given food to eat and water to drink, yet dies in his sins and so goes to Hell?

I understand the value and importance of providing help for those in need, but I am convinced that we must have our priorities straight whenever we proceed to 'provide' for the needs of others. There is something seriously wrong if more time, energy, and resources are poured into 'humanitarian' efforts rather than the building of mature churches. The most important thing is the preaching and teaching of the Word of God and EVERYTHING else comes second to this. For it through the Word that the Spirit convicts us and causes our growth. It is the Word of God that reveals to us the character and nature of God. It is the through the Word of God that we gain knowledge, understanding, and wisdom. "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God." (John 1.1)

So what do we need to be saved from? We must be saved from our sins or else nothing else matters in the end. However, it is unfortunate because hundreds of millions of people all over the world have never heard of the provision for their need. They never will hear unless someone comes and tells them the message of the Christ - He who was made sin though there was no sin in Him, He who died on the behalf of His enemies, He who came back to life in power and honor and glory, He who lives this day in those who have believed the testimony concerning his death and resurrection. How then will we choose to live?

"and they were saying to the woman, 'It is no longer because of what you said that we believe, for we have heard for ourselves and know that this One is indeed the Savior of the world.' "

- John 4.42

It's Been a While

It's been a while since I've updated my blog...

I've embarked on numerous adventures since then and so I'll take a little time to reflect on the past couple of months before sharing what's on my mind. As of May 15th I can now call myself a graduate of New Tribes Bible Institute. It has definitely been an exciting journey these past two years spent in Jackson, Michigan. Numerous hours have been spent in the classroom, friendships built and deepened, and too many wonderful memories to recount. For those who don't know already, I will actually be heading back to NTBI-Jackson this next year for an internship there. Mostly I'll be working in the kitchen but will also have the opportunity to continue relationships with both the staff and students at the school. I am excited for the chance to be a part (though a very small one) of reaching unreached people groups with the gospel of Christ. Because of this internship program, the cost of running the BI will be somewhat less. Why does this matter? This means that the students will not have to pay as much for their Bible education. There will be about 14 of us interns doing various jobs around the school such as child care, food services, office work, or maintenance. The program will only require about 20 hours a week; this allows the interns to get part-time jobs in Jackson. However, I will be working in the kitchen full-time which means that I will be paid for half of that time. This will be a huge benefit as I will not have to seek out another job (which can be very difficult in Jackson). Amber, my girlfriend, will also be a part of the internship program working in the office.

Anyways, since graduation I spent some time in Michigan with Amber's family, went to two weddings in beautiful Pennsylvania (and spent a week there!), went to Amber's sister's wedding in Michigan, and then Amber and I took a road trip from Michigan to Missouri to Colorado and then finally to Idaho. Yes, I know that we took a longer route than necessary but we were able to visit the Missionary Training Center in Missouri (which Amber had never seen yet) and also got to see friends of my family in Colorado Springs. My sister Bethany's wedding was the weekend after we arrived in Idaho and the next week we were able (very randomly and unexpectedly) to visit friends in northern Washington and some of Amber's relatives in southern Washington. Since then we've been involved with my church's VBS and ministry at Camp Pinewood. So yes, we have had an extremely full summer so far (and by full I mean full of great times). Now to some of what has been on my mind lately.

Truly, it's been a while. It's been a while since I've fallen to my knees in adoration and wonder of all that God is. It's been a while since I've found myself lost in contemplation of His Word. It's been a while since I've had an epiphany of God's grace. I find that is all too easy to distract myself away from the things of God. To be caught up in the moment is to have forgotten eternity. Life goes by, moment by moment, and I rarely take the time to consider the ramifications for the decisions made in this moment, this hour, this day, this life. Focus on self is the deadliest and most widespread disease of the history of man. We are all infected and there is only one cure: to die.

Paul tells us in his letter to the believers in Rome to regard ourselves as being dead - dead to sin. He goes on to say that we should regard ourselves as not only being dead to sin but also as being alive to God. Death may be the cure, but there is hope in life after death. For did not the Savior of the world demonstrate such when He Himself died? Beaten, bruised, and nailed to a cross He died an ignominious death - thieves on the crosses next to Him and His closest friends having forsaken Him. But there is hope because He rose from the dead unto new life! In like manner, I am identified with Him in His death and resurrection - dead to sin and alive to God. Dead to self-focus and alive to God-focus.

It's been a while since Jesus: the Anointed One of God, the Savior of the world, the Last Adam, the Man who is God; it's been a while since His death and resurrection. But this I say: it was those moments which have the greatest bearing on eternity for He alone is the way to the Father. In Him alone is life. He is the epitome of truth. It's been a while since He died and rose again. It's easy to get distracted and lose interest in eternity. What must always be on our minds is the fact that His return will come in but a little while.

A Question of Citizenship

"If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth." -Colossians 3.1-2

I seem to be a creature of contradiction.

I live in a world of death, darkness, and decay. Yet most of those around me live in willful ignorance to the truth. We have manufactured a world of neon lights, suburbs, technological achievement, academic pursuit, high-minded philosophy, and comfortable morality in an effort to disguise reality. We dress up the pain and darkness of life in order to hide ourselves from the hopelessness of it all. What startles me the most is my own response to the insanity of this world. Have I become content in the contradiction?

I am a sinner turned saint. A child of God with a high calling who finds within a contradiction. For not only is he surrounded everyday with all that is contrary to God, but he continuously discovers within himself an intense craving for that which is abominable in God's sight. All that man holds dear pulls at my own heart. There is no greater enemy than ME. As if everything that would tempt me one way or another to partake in this world's delights, as if this was not enough I am indeed the true problem. The only reason why I experience any kind of internal struggle in the face of temptation is because there is that in me which loves to sin. I am the sinner who loves to sin.

"...[W]e look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal." -2 Corinthians 4.18

It is to this which I am ever struggling to focus my eyes upon: that which is unseen. I cannot see God. I cannot walk up to Him as His child and talk with Him. I do not tread upon the gold of heaven's streets. What I have been given is a Book which is God's disclosure of Himself to mankind and on its pages I find many things which are hard to believe. It says things about myself that I would not know otherwise. Specifically, I am not of this world. Trusting this statement is a daily battle. This Book tells me to deny the things of this world because I am not its citizen but am heaven's own. Yet I walk upon the stones of this globe looking upon all that my eyes and heart find desirable. To deny oneself is to trust the testimony of God. It comes down to a decision whether to believe the words of this world or the Word of God. I am torn between one and the other, but there is much reward when one takes God at His word. The world offers me instant gratification, self-esteem, and little to no accountability. God offers me His Son - broken, bruised, scourged, and hanging upon a cross. A spectacle that men mocked and ridiculed. His Son who died and was laid in a tomb. His Son who came back to life and is alive today! His Son who is Life itself.

Tears are shed, bodies are laid in tombs, and men revel in their drunken orgies or high-minded snobbery. In the dark depths of this night I find hope in this Book and fix my gaze upon its words therein as the star by which sailors were known to guide their ships over the vast expanses.

"But our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ." -Philippians 3.20

Working Hard but Hardly Working

"Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who has no need to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth." -II Timothy 2.15

It's incredible to think that here I am just over halfway done with my last semester here at NTBI. It seems rather cliche to say that it seems like just yesterday I was stepping into this school as a fairly ignorant freshman but the time has really flown by. As I'm nearing the end I've been reflecting on my time here. I've been thinking about this whole idea of the worker. At the end of my time here I will have spent about 816 hours in the classroom under the teaching of God's Word and roughly the same amount or more spent in required homework for the classes. These numbers might seem impressive, but this was really only the bare minimum that needed to be completed. I have found it so incredibly easy to fulfill these 'obligations' and devote the rest of my time to what I wanted to do. The issue has always been a matter of priorities. It doesn't really matter whether I have 15 minutes of 'free' time or 6 hours of 'free' time - what I do with my time often reflects my value system. Those who value sports will make the time to play. Those who value reading will make the time to sit down and read their latest novel. Those who value spending time hanging out with people will make the time to do so. Those who value an intimate relationship with God will MAKE the time to read, study, meditate on His Word. This is not just going to class and doing my homework. This means intentional time spent soaking in the Word of God. Yes, classes can help one to gain understanding and insight and homework can be an excellent way to spend some intentional time with God in His Word, but they are NOT the end goal. This has been a real struggle all through my time here at NTBI because it is so easy to disconnect from it all and make it into mere academia and the learning of facts. NO! As one of my teachers here has told us several times: "We are in a living relationship with a living God." We must not lose sight of this in all the academia or we have lost the very reason for such academic pursuit.

However, I am also coming to recognize my utter need of being in the Word continually. It is the TRUTH, my secure foundation. I must learn to approach the Word with neither intellectual infatuation nor apathy. This is a surprisingly difficult balance to maintain for one day I am consumed with all the academia of my studies in the Word and the next I am almost indifferent to it. I must be intentional in my relationship with God and pour out hard work to understand the Scriptures in order to better understand my heavenly Father. It's just like any other relationship that you want to grow deeper; you've got to spend a lot of time building it but you've also got to be intentional in the relationship by making time for the other and really seeking to understand them at their core level. The good thing about God is that He's ALWAYS there for me to come back to and I'm the only one who ever really steps away from the relationship.

The other thing I've been thinking about is this whole idea of rest. Sure we should work hard as the servants that we are, but we must not think that it is all about how much we strain and stretch ourselves for that is simple pride in our own abilities and strength. As the apostle Paul himself said: "I can do all things through him who strengthens me" (Php 4.13). His strength was great and not of himself, therefore his effort was sensational. The reason for this is that he did all things relying on the ability of God to do the impossible. In the midst of intense labor we must stop and ask ourselves if we are relying on our own strength or the strength of the Almighty. In this we find rest and can put forth much expenditure from THIS position of God-dependence.

"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." - Matthew 11.28-30

Family

Family is a thing of contradiction. They are those you love the most but can be some of the most aggravating people on the face of the earth. When you live with them you can't wait to leave, but when you've gone away you can't wait to be with them once again. Brothers and sisters who are supposed to be friends turn into friends who so happen to be brothers and sisters. Parents are at one time belittled but then are exalted to a place of high honor in the eyes of their children. To live in a family is an adventure full of peril and the possibility of great reward. An adventure to be pursued indeed.

No family is perfect for EVERY single person that makes it up is imperfect. The home is a unique setting wherein we may learn how to love, respect, and serve others. God has revealed the ideal for such relationships:

"Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.

Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.

Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.

Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged."

-Colossians 3.18-21

Though there are different roles and responsibilities of those who make up the family, ALL are to do what is best for others.

Whoever said that actions speak louder than words had it mostly right. God has told us to SPEAK THE TRUTH IN LOVE. We are not to cower from sharing the truth with others, but this must be done in the right manner and at the right time. What this also means is that our life must demonstrate that what we speak is actually being lived out by us. This requires a multitude of moment-to-moment decisions to say very little or even nothing at all and CHOOSE to put another before one's own self. It is those who are known for their love for others and their humble service who will have a greater impact on the lives they long to be changed for the better. For it surely brings a quick cut to the heart when one sees a loved one making selfish, foolish, and/or hurtful decisions. It is a difficult thing to live in a world full of difficult people, but did not Christ, the Anointed One of God, do such for those who were his enemies. God be praised to the utmost for His work of salvation to reconcile such difficult people to Himself wherein we now enjoy a secure relationship with our Father who we may even call Daddy.

I end this with a lighter heart and renewed resolve to put my family before myself and seek their betterment at all times - though I may be hurt, though change may come slowly, though I may fail. Thank you my Father for sending your Son whose very Life is inside this fragile clay pot of mine and the work of the Spirit whom you sent to empower me as I choose to walk in light of my position and identity in Christ.

Prayer

Prayer.

A six-letter word that contains an immensity of significance and meaning. Prayer at its simplest is communication with God. At its greatest it is connection with God. We are exhorted to pray, but it is more than a religious duty. We read of great prayers in the Scriptures, but find it difficult to understand their source. I have come face-to-face with the bankruptcy seen in my own prayer life, but was helpless in seeing any kind of true change. But then...

I came to the realization that I was trying to pray good prayers. I was striving to put together the words that would look the best in a prayer. Such was my fundamental mistake. In my thinking I had made a disconnect between talking with God and talking with people. I assumed that prayer was somehow different. Yet Christ Himself instructed us in the manner of prayer as praying unto our Father. Abba, daddy! And so I began to talk with God as I would talk with my closest friend or with my own earthly dad. In fact, our talks were so much sweeter than any kind of communication with another human, for I was talking with GOD! I could talk to Him about my greatest fears, my indescribable joys, my seemingly hopeless defeats, my victory that I experienced because of His Son. I could talk with Him about the mundane things of life and about the deep truths that I was learning from His very own Word. These times where I talk with God are the most precious moments of my life. He is my friend, but more than a friend. He is my Savior, my Life, my Father, my Lord, my God, my ALL.

As I type these words I have almost begun to cry, simply thinking about my talks with God. Today was the NTM (New Tribes Mission) Day of Prayer and so I spent some time alone today just talking (out loud) with my God. Sadly enough, I have not given time to God very much at all this semester, always blaming it on my busyness or the fact that I know I am in constant communication with Him at all times. But there is something about our 'talks' that are oh so sweet. I would even compare this to a human relationship. Sure I may talk all the time with my friend, but it our 'talks' that are the most valuable and most treasured parts of our relationship.

If you have not seen my write of the secret of an awesome prayer life, this is because I have not done so. I would almost say that there is actually no secret at all, yet I hesitate in regard to saying such a thing. For if most do not know the way of a matter, then is it not a secret if you yourself know? And so I would whisper to you this secret, trusting that you likewise would pass this whisper along. It is so delicate that it must only be mentioned in a whisper. The secret is thus: the depth of my prayer life is ALWAYS dependent on the depth of my relationship with God. I have seen it proven true in my own life; it was no matter of learning "how to pray" that transformed my prayer life, but it was deepening in my love and understanding of God that flowed naturally into a transformed prayer life.

I end with this. I have yet to find in the Scriptures any "how to do it" manuals on prayer, but I have seen men of God pray for people: that they would grow in the knowledge and understanding of Christ, that they would grow in grace. We cannot talk with someone whom we do not know, so let us continue to learn more and more and more about our God. For such is our fate for all eternity: to grow in the knowledge of our God who is limitless and infinite. Ready to be joyously surprised by God forever? Let's pray

Intentional

One thing that I have been heavily challenged with lately is the intentionality of my life. Specifically in the context of relationships: with God through prayer and His Word, with fellow believers, and with the unbelievers all around me. It is the fool who lacks discernment in his choices and simply lets the wind blow him every which way. No deep relationship with another has ever come about through mere chance. It is to the degree of intentionality that there is even the possibility of deepening a relationship.

"Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong." - I Corinthians 16.13

It is time to leave the childish ways of weak integrity, human dependence, and self-focus. The man of God is simply he who has come before his Lord with humility, godly sorrow, and dependence. I recognize such a man as one who walks intimately with God, yet I must declare that I am no such man. So much of the time I deceive myself and others into thinking that I am a great young man who is dedicated to serving and obeying God. For though a young sapling may grow in leaps and bounds (especially in proportion to how big it was before), it is far away from the strength of the mighty oak that has stood for multitudes of seasons.

Christ was one who was intentional about life. His work was to do His Father's will and there was nothing more important to Him than such. EVERYTHING that he said or did flowed out of His purpose. And so we see that we too are called to such a mindset in our work. Our work is the ministry of reconciliation: to see men made right with God. It is a mighty task which requires more than all we have to offer of ourselves. For it is only the very life of Christ within us that is adequate for such a task.

"I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing." -John 15.5

Care

WHO CARES?

This is a question that so permeates the attitude of much of our culture today and is one to which Christians are not immune. We see it time and time again, yet we rarely think of the implications of such a statement. The person who says, "Who cares?" in a flippant manner reveals their heart for what it is: uncaring. I concede that not every such statement is one that is expressed for the sole purpose of communicating disregard for another, but does it not still show where the heart is at or the bent of thinking that one has bought into? For I would challenge that we, even as Christians, are more influenced by the world system than we would admit. We have adopted, in large part, an attitude of indifference toward others. In this area I have been personally challenged, convicted, cut to the heart (whatever you would like to say), and so I now wish to pass this on.

When I first began to realize such a tendency within myself I did not regard it with much discernment. It was but a small flaw, I thought, and I must focus on other things. Oh the naivety and foolishness of my heart! The Word of God had shed light on my uncaring heart, but it was through experience (and failure!) that my own eyes were opened to the depths of wickedness within me. For what does an uncaring attitude signify but pride, arrogance, conceit? I would dare say that it clearly shows that I am a lover of myself, consumed with myself and all that I make myself out to be. To look on others as simply those who may please me is the height of conceit and to see them as below myself is nothing but total arrogance. And so I am left in wonder at my awful state, shocked almost beyond belief. Yet there is hope!

Now I know that I cannot produce love in my life. For it is a fruit OF THE SPIRIT and hence is NOT OF ME. And so I trust in God to produce Christ's life in me; to reckon that I truly am dead to sin. I now choose to refuse to walk according to the flesh: selfishness and self-focus. "To be disappointed with yourself is to have believed in yourself." -Miles Stanford: The Complete Green Letters. And so I continue, not in frustration or disappointment, but with confidence (FAITH!) in God. I should not be surprised that I have such an uncaring attitude toward others, but simply recognize it and look to God for Him to change me and confidently expect to be changed over time.

"And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." -Romans 5.5

Maturity

When I think of someone who is mature I don't primarily think of some nineteen year old kid who has only been out of high school for one year, has never had a 'real' job, and has been known to fall on the ground laughing at people. Yet this is who I am. Am I mature?

The first 'week' of school has recently been completed and I now take some time to reflect on who I was about one year ago. There has been so much about me that has changed that I would not know where to exactly begin if I had to spell it all out. And so I shall focus on one main area that truly affects every other area and could be called the most important anyways. I can say with total confidence that I have grown more spiritually in this last year than I have in all the years together before. Even now fully comprehending that it was never of my own self-effort that would produce this within me, but it was the power of the very Word of God in my life. Life has been marked with tears, pain, and failure but God has seen fit to use such affliction to draw me into His embrace so that I may understand more in part of His great love.

Last night I had a long talk with a good friend here at Bible school and, among other things, I asked him why he and his wife seemed to invest so much into me. What he said has given me much to ponder and it was this: that they saw in me a desire to grow in my relationship with God and a true faith. I seem to still have trouble in connecting words like "faith" into real life (probably due to my saturation in the world of Christianity since early childhood). I wondered what really made me different than anyone else. Almost contradictorily I seem to both view a select few in a state of Christian perfection and haughtily overlook others as being less worthy than myself. But is not every believer the same in Christ? For Christ did not come to play favorites or to exalt some while diminishing others, but all have been put "in Christ" as He also has been put into them. So there is no reason for shame when regarding the lives of other believers. Does not the Good Book say that there is now "no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus"?

Along the lines of maturity I wish to share my present situation concerning the topic of wisdom. I have been told that "God does not give us answers, He gives us wisdom." Until most recently I have not been presented with such a situation that I earnestly longed for God to simply give me the answers to my problem but understood that I was only to receive wisdom when I asked of God. In a way it is a frustrating process because it is only natural to want to know the answer immediately when there is a problem. Yet therein lies the problem: it is natural to desire answers but it is evidence of godliness to trust in the wisdom of God.

I write in the understanding that I have yet many more years ahead of me, if in God's will I do not die and Christ continues to tarry, to endure the afflictions that this present life brings and learn to abide in the True Vine, Jesus Christ. This is a day by day process wherein the key lies in trusting God for everything and placing no confidence in anything else.

"But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called "today," that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin." -Hebrews 3.13

Insignificance

They say to dream big dreams and yet I doubt this statement for the most part. Why is it that man has this natural tendency towards wanting to become more than he is? We have splendid thoughts and ideas of grandiose splendor that never materialize but we comfort ourselves with the warm and fuzzy feelings they give us of self-imposed greatness. It is foolish to think of myself as more important than I actually am. Do I seek greatness in order to cover up my own utter lack of such a thing? A beloved teacher of mine has said, "I don't want to do great things for God; I want God to do great things through me." It might appear that this would actually be the same thing for great things are still being done. The weight of such a statement lies in who is actually doing the work of 'great things.' I must ask myself if I am seeking my own gain and puffing myself up or if God Himself is at work in me - doing His great acts. The works themselves are never proof of God at work. It is wisdom in discernment that discovers who is at work.

I usually think of myself as being fairly important and worthy of whatever benefits I receive. This is simply a twisted and corrupt view that warps judgment and feeds pride. I have recently been entrusted with the responsibility of being a Resident Assistant for a dorm of eight guys here at my school. My basic instinct is to silently acknowledge in my heart that this was simply supposed to happen this way because I honestly believe that I deserve to be an RA. As the full weight of responsibility and service that this position requires has begun to sink in I am beginning to understand the depth of my inadequacy. I have little wisdom in how to proceed. How am I supposed to be a great RA that is both a leader and a friend? Ministry seems to have a way of beating up everything that is not of Christ and leaves what little is left of that which has been entrusted to Him.

In all this my own insignificance is beginning to be revealed. I would like to think at many times that I am significant and full of great importance but in all reality I am nothing. My life is simply to be used for the sake of others as I serve in all humility and love towards God and men. I walk in anticipation, waiting for God to do His work through me. Will you walk with me?

Mysterious

"For I want you to know how great a struggle I have for you and for those at Laodicea and for all who have not seen me face to face, that their hearts may be encouraged, being knit together in love, to reach all the riches of full assurance of understanding and the knowledge of God's mystery, which is Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge." -Colossians 2.1-3

Today we drove across the great state of Nebraska on our way to Jackson, Michigan (and New Tribes Bible Institute). I was listening to one of my favorite Christian authors/speakers; his name is Ravi Zacharias. In one part of his speech he described the contrary nature of the God-man Jesus Christ. For example, He surrounded himself with sinners of the most looked-down upon sorts and yet spoke the strongest words against sin. In Jesus we find the nature of divine personality, and of sorts that it almost seems to be contradictory when lived out in human instrumentality. What I mean by this is that the life of Christ was such that it demonstrated true righteousness, denounced all forms of man's self-made attempts to struggle upwards to God, and developed a greater way wherein life sprang forth from death and Love bound everything together.

The greatest problem of mankind has been in its overwhelming refusal to accept its Savior, its Lord, its Life. Man denies the fact that he even needs a Savior, for such a pronouncement would shine light upon his despicable state as he hides in his own darkness. When he will not name Christ as his Savior there is no point in his ever naming Him as his Lord, for nobody can be master over something that is not their own and has no life. Only when Christ is the actual Life of one who has believed in Him can this tri-nature of Christ be embraced in full and the reality of completeness in Him will be an accepted state of being.

Christ is the mystery. He is the question that must be answered. What will we do with Christ?

Obeyin' the 'Rents

"Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord."
-Colossians 3.20

I do not know why God has chosen fit to have given me wonderful parents who love Him, love me, and are seeking after His righteousness present in their lives. However, this I must declare: that I am so very thankful for such parents. I will abound in thanksgiving all the more as I learn of the good that God has already given unto me.

Parents are such creatures that may be able to hide faults from most everyone around them, but will never even be able to hide a minor shortcoming from their children. They are known by their children almost as much as their spouse knows them; for the child sees his parents in all their glory and in the depths of failure and defeat. How utterly impossible it is to raise children in righteousness when their authorities themselves fail to live perfectly righteous! This must be an impossibility if not for Christ our Lord.

It is a narrow idea of God that sees Him as such that does not experience pleasure, yet has this not been my view of Him so much of the time? It challenges my thinking to realize that God is indeed pleased when I obey my parents. Does this obedience not serve a dual purpose? For it not only unites both child and parent and espouses order in their lives, but it serves as a unique reminder of the relationship of every believer to his heavenly Father, who is the epitome of all perfection, loves us to the utmost, and would see us grasp all the riches that He has laid before us.

And thus I strive to obey my parents in all peace and humility so that I may bring pleasure to them and to my Father. For obedience is such that it confronts self at every turn and quickens my heart to recognize when I am living in such a way that focuses on me rather than on Christ. It is the ultimate test for a believer that takes advantage of his freedom or of one that gives of himself because of the advantage of his freedom. Which one will you and I be?

Time for some Reckoning

"We know that our old self was crucified with him in order that the body of sin might be brought to noting, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin. For one who has died has been set free from sin."
-Romans 6.6-7

It is a most arrogant thing to think that I can be victorious over sin by my own power, and yet this is what I do most every day. It is as if I doubt the very Word of God that it is not about me and my own strength to live a life of righteousness unto God, but it is "not I but Christ" and His life in me that allows me to live for Him. I get frustrated with myself when I fail to live up to His standard but this reveals my own ignorance, for I trusted in my own strength instead of leaning on His. Time and time again I beat my head in anger as I struggle to understand why it feels so good to sin and it is so very difficult to resist. Can it be that I have made my enemy more than he is? Has the mist of darkness clouded my vision and puffed up an insignificant enemy into a monstrous foe in my deluded eyes? For God has declared that all who believe are henceforth and forevermore DEAD TO SIN. Christ not only died FOR me on the cross, but I died WITH Him as well. My life is hidden with Christ in God (Colossians 3.3)! Christ's life is in me and sin has no more power over me.

"He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of His beloved Son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins."
-Colossians 1.13-14

Long live the King!

For those who read this and wish to pray for me I humbly request that your prayers be those of Paul's for the Colossians in chapter 1.9-12.

"Grace to you and peace from God our Father" (Colossians 1.2b)

The Life of Mercy

"So speak and so act as those who are to be judged under the law of liberty. For judgment is without mercy to one who has shown no mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgment."
-James 2.12-13

When looking at the life of Christ I find that His was a life full of mercy toward others. He, as God Himself, had the authority to judge all men and will indeed be the ultimate Judge at the end of the age. Yet we find that Jesus lived on this earth in order to save the world, with no compulsion to condemn it (John 3.17). It is interesting to realize that He came in all mercy, pouring out compassion on those who were absolutely undeserving of it. It was not those who were esteemed in the eyes of the world, but those who were looked down upon that flocked to Jesus. This was because sinful man is quick to judge others from a lofty tower of self-righteousness. Christ showed favor and by this He reached down into the depths of souls and awakened in them the desire to love. For all men feel the effects of their own desire to be loved by another; the desire is never fulfilled but is always realized a farce. Stronger even than the desire to be loved is the desire to love another. Does not God Himself show this to be true? God has no need to be loved by man, for He is fully sufficient in His very self. Yet He created man in His own image, that He might love man and give man the ability to love God and his fellow men. In that the Son of Man so changed the lives of those around Him, His children have also been called to do the same.

It seems so much easier to judge others rather than to have mercy on them. Lack of clarity regarding the choice between judgment and mercy may simply be a lack of having plumbed the depths of mercy. Is it not easier to forgive another for something that we ourselves have received forgiveness? Truly we have been forgiven all our faults and yet we live as if others cannot have theirs forgiven. As we have forgiven so also should we forgive others. Do the Scriptures not say such a thing? Too often I have misled myself into condemning others for the sin I see present in them and I am left to wonder why there is no positive response to my reproof. MERCY TRIUMPHS OVER JUDGMENT. The validity of such a statement seems skeptical but Christ Himself proved it to be true! We know that man has plenty to condemn him, but only One can save him. It is not our prerogative to highlight the shortcomings in another, but to show unto others that same mercy that we have been shown. This can create a thirst and a hunger in another for that mercy and grace that only comes from God. The life of mercy is not achieved through morality and kindness, but is achieved when such mercy as one's self has received so also gives unto others.