Maturity

When I think of someone who is mature I don't primarily think of some nineteen year old kid who has only been out of high school for one year, has never had a 'real' job, and has been known to fall on the ground laughing at people. Yet this is who I am. Am I mature?

The first 'week' of school has recently been completed and I now take some time to reflect on who I was about one year ago. There has been so much about me that has changed that I would not know where to exactly begin if I had to spell it all out. And so I shall focus on one main area that truly affects every other area and could be called the most important anyways. I can say with total confidence that I have grown more spiritually in this last year than I have in all the years together before. Even now fully comprehending that it was never of my own self-effort that would produce this within me, but it was the power of the very Word of God in my life. Life has been marked with tears, pain, and failure but God has seen fit to use such affliction to draw me into His embrace so that I may understand more in part of His great love.

Last night I had a long talk with a good friend here at Bible school and, among other things, I asked him why he and his wife seemed to invest so much into me. What he said has given me much to ponder and it was this: that they saw in me a desire to grow in my relationship with God and a true faith. I seem to still have trouble in connecting words like "faith" into real life (probably due to my saturation in the world of Christianity since early childhood). I wondered what really made me different than anyone else. Almost contradictorily I seem to both view a select few in a state of Christian perfection and haughtily overlook others as being less worthy than myself. But is not every believer the same in Christ? For Christ did not come to play favorites or to exalt some while diminishing others, but all have been put "in Christ" as He also has been put into them. So there is no reason for shame when regarding the lives of other believers. Does not the Good Book say that there is now "no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus"?

Along the lines of maturity I wish to share my present situation concerning the topic of wisdom. I have been told that "God does not give us answers, He gives us wisdom." Until most recently I have not been presented with such a situation that I earnestly longed for God to simply give me the answers to my problem but understood that I was only to receive wisdom when I asked of God. In a way it is a frustrating process because it is only natural to want to know the answer immediately when there is a problem. Yet therein lies the problem: it is natural to desire answers but it is evidence of godliness to trust in the wisdom of God.

I write in the understanding that I have yet many more years ahead of me, if in God's will I do not die and Christ continues to tarry, to endure the afflictions that this present life brings and learn to abide in the True Vine, Jesus Christ. This is a day by day process wherein the key lies in trusting God for everything and placing no confidence in anything else.

"But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called "today," that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin." -Hebrews 3.13

Insignificance

They say to dream big dreams and yet I doubt this statement for the most part. Why is it that man has this natural tendency towards wanting to become more than he is? We have splendid thoughts and ideas of grandiose splendor that never materialize but we comfort ourselves with the warm and fuzzy feelings they give us of self-imposed greatness. It is foolish to think of myself as more important than I actually am. Do I seek greatness in order to cover up my own utter lack of such a thing? A beloved teacher of mine has said, "I don't want to do great things for God; I want God to do great things through me." It might appear that this would actually be the same thing for great things are still being done. The weight of such a statement lies in who is actually doing the work of 'great things.' I must ask myself if I am seeking my own gain and puffing myself up or if God Himself is at work in me - doing His great acts. The works themselves are never proof of God at work. It is wisdom in discernment that discovers who is at work.

I usually think of myself as being fairly important and worthy of whatever benefits I receive. This is simply a twisted and corrupt view that warps judgment and feeds pride. I have recently been entrusted with the responsibility of being a Resident Assistant for a dorm of eight guys here at my school. My basic instinct is to silently acknowledge in my heart that this was simply supposed to happen this way because I honestly believe that I deserve to be an RA. As the full weight of responsibility and service that this position requires has begun to sink in I am beginning to understand the depth of my inadequacy. I have little wisdom in how to proceed. How am I supposed to be a great RA that is both a leader and a friend? Ministry seems to have a way of beating up everything that is not of Christ and leaves what little is left of that which has been entrusted to Him.

In all this my own insignificance is beginning to be revealed. I would like to think at many times that I am significant and full of great importance but in all reality I am nothing. My life is simply to be used for the sake of others as I serve in all humility and love towards God and men. I walk in anticipation, waiting for God to do His work through me. Will you walk with me?

Mysterious

"For I want you to know how great a struggle I have for you and for those at Laodicea and for all who have not seen me face to face, that their hearts may be encouraged, being knit together in love, to reach all the riches of full assurance of understanding and the knowledge of God's mystery, which is Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge." -Colossians 2.1-3

Today we drove across the great state of Nebraska on our way to Jackson, Michigan (and New Tribes Bible Institute). I was listening to one of my favorite Christian authors/speakers; his name is Ravi Zacharias. In one part of his speech he described the contrary nature of the God-man Jesus Christ. For example, He surrounded himself with sinners of the most looked-down upon sorts and yet spoke the strongest words against sin. In Jesus we find the nature of divine personality, and of sorts that it almost seems to be contradictory when lived out in human instrumentality. What I mean by this is that the life of Christ was such that it demonstrated true righteousness, denounced all forms of man's self-made attempts to struggle upwards to God, and developed a greater way wherein life sprang forth from death and Love bound everything together.

The greatest problem of mankind has been in its overwhelming refusal to accept its Savior, its Lord, its Life. Man denies the fact that he even needs a Savior, for such a pronouncement would shine light upon his despicable state as he hides in his own darkness. When he will not name Christ as his Savior there is no point in his ever naming Him as his Lord, for nobody can be master over something that is not their own and has no life. Only when Christ is the actual Life of one who has believed in Him can this tri-nature of Christ be embraced in full and the reality of completeness in Him will be an accepted state of being.

Christ is the mystery. He is the question that must be answered. What will we do with Christ?